I was scrolling through my phone the other day and came across a video of my toddler learning to walk.
If you’ve ever watched a toddler learn to walk, you know it’s basically just controlled falling, right? They take a step, wobble, fall right on their butt, and then just get right back up and do it over again.
They don’t sit there and think, “Oh my gosh, I’m so bad at this. Maybe walking isn’t for me. Maybe I should just stick to crawling. That’s what I’m good at.”
No. They just keep going. They fall like a hundred times a day and they don’t even care.
And I started thinking about how somewhere between learning to walk and becoming adults, we completely lose that ability to be okay with falling. We lose that comfort with discomfort.
And as entrepreneurs, that’s the number one skill we need to get back.
Discomfort Isn’t a Bug, It’s a Feature
Here’s the thing: if you’re building something, if you’re creating something new and putting yourself out there in any way, discomfort isn’t a sign that something’s wrong.
It’s actually a sign that something’s right.
It’s a sign that you’re growing, that you’re pushing boundaries, and that you’re doing something that matters.
But most of us treat discomfort like it’s a warning sign. Like it’s our body telling us: Stop. Go back. This isn’t safe.
And I get it, I really do. Our brains are literally wired to keep us safe and comfortable. That’s what they’re supposed to do.
But safe and comfortable doesn’t build businesses. Safe and comfortable doesn’t create anything new. Safe and comfortable keeps you exactly where you are.
So today I want to talk about something I’ve been really thinking about and learning about in my own journey: the idea that your only job as an entrepreneur is to get used to—and maybe even learn to enjoy—being uncomfortable.
Because that mindset, the relationship you have with discomfort, is the most important skill you can develop. Not your marketing strategy, not your product features, not even your business plan.
It’s how you manage your mind around the hard stuff.
And I want to show you how you can actually use those negative feelings—those moments of doubt and fear and uncertainty—as a compass, like little breadcrumbs telling you that you’re actually on the right track.
The Launch That Almost Didn’t Happen
Let me tell you a story that really brought this home for me.
A couple of weeks ago, I was getting ready to launch something new. I’d been working on it for a few weeks and I was excited about it. But then as the launch date got closer, I started to feel this heavy weight, this pit in my stomach.
And I started thinking: Maybe this isn’t the right time. Maybe I should wait until it’s better. Maybe I should add one more feature. Maybe my marketing isn’t on point.
I had this whole list of very logical, very reasonable reasons why I should postpone.
I was talking to a friend about it, and she asked me this question that really shifted my perspective:
“Are you afraid because something’s wrong? Or are you afraid because something matters?”
I sat with that for a couple of minutes and realized it was the second one.
I wasn’t afraid because my product was bad or because I was making a mistake. I was afraid because I actually cared. Because if I put it out there and it failed, that would hurt. If I put myself out there and people didn’t respond, that would really sting.
And that’s when I realized: the discomfort I was feeling wasn’t a stop sign. It was actually a green light.
It was my body’s way of saying, “Hey, this is important to you. This matters.” And anything that matters is going to feel uncomfortable before you do it.
So I launched anyway. And you know what? It didn’t go perfectly. Some things worked and some things didn’t. But I learned so much, and I’m still here and I’m still building.
More importantly, I’m starting to understand that discomfort is part of the process. It’s not a bug, it’s a feature.
The Entrepreneurs Who Make It
The entrepreneurs who make it—from what I’ve been reading and learning—the ones who actually build something sustainable and meaningful, they aren’t the ones who never feel uncomfortable.
In fact, they’re the ones who feel discomfort and do it anyway.
They’ve learned how to reframe it. They see it as information. They’re using it as a compass, as proof that they’re growing.
So how do you do that? How do you actually shift your relationship with discomfort?
I’ve been working on this myself, and I found five mindset shifts that have really helped me. I want to share them with you today because I think they can help you too.
Shift #1: Discomfort Means You’re at Your Edge (And That’s Where Growth Happens)
Think about it. When you’re working out, you don’t build muscle by lifting weights that are easy. You build muscle by lifting weights that challenge you, that push you right to your limit. The burn you feel, that discomfort—that’s literally your muscles growing stronger.
It’s the same thing in business.
When you feel uncomfortable, when you feel that resistance and anxiety, that’s often a sign that you’re stretching yourself, that you’re doing something new, something you haven’t done before. And that’s exactly where you need to be.
Because if everything feels comfortable, if everything feels easy, you’re probably just staying in your comfort zone. And you’re probably just doing the same things you’ve always done.
I had this moment a couple of months ago where I had to have some really difficult conversations with someone I was working with. I was dreading it. I was losing sleep over it, stressing out, drafting my talking points over and over.
Every part of me wanted to avoid it, just let it slide and not rock the boat. But I knew I had to do it.
And when I finally did it, you know what happened?
Yeah, it didn’t go well.
I know, I know—you’re probably confused. Where’s that happy ending?
But here’s the thing: it didn’t go the way I wanted, but I survived. In fact, I’m thriving. The working relationship ended, yeah, and that stings. It sucks. But I’m still here and I’m still standing.
And I realized something really important: even when things don’t go the way you want and things happen, you’ll be okay. You’ll get through it.
And the next time I have to have a difficult conversation, it’ll be easier. Not because they become easy, but because I know I can handle it. I’ve gotten used to sitting with the discomfort, having things not go my way, living up to my values and what’s important to me, and being great on the other side.
So the next time you feel uncomfortable, instead of asking yourself, “How can I avoid this? How can I numb this?” try asking:
What is this trying to teach me?
What skill is this helping me develop?
How is this helping me level up?
Think about it like the montage in the movies.
Shift #2: Your Brain Will Always Find Reasons Why Now Isn’t the Right Time (Don’t Believe Everything You Think)
This is a big one, and it took me a long time to understand this.
Your brain is really, really good at coming up with logical, reasonable, convincing reasons why you shouldn’t do the thing that scares you.
It’ll say things like:
“You need more experience first”
“You need more money first”
“You need to learn more, prepare more, plan more, research more”
“The market isn’t right”
“Your website isn’t ready”
“You don’t have enough followers yet”
On and on and on.
The tricky thing is that sometimes those thoughts sound so reasonable that you believe them. You think, “Yeah, you’re right, brain. I should wait until I have more experience. That makes sense.”
But a lot of times those aren’t actually logical reasons. They’re just fear dressed up in logic. They’re your brain trying to keep you safe by talking you out of doing anything risky.
And here’s what I’ve learned: there will never be a perfect time. There will always be a reason to wait. There will always be something that’s not quite ready or not quite right.
So you have to learn to recognize when your brain is being genuinely helpful (”You haven’t slept in three days, maybe take a nap before you make that decision”) versus when it’s just being scared (”You’re not ready, you’ll never be ready, who do you think you are?”).
A trick that’s really helped me is to ask myself: “If I wasn’t afraid, what would I do?”
Because a lot of times the answer is obvious. I’d send that email. I’d launch that thing. I’d have that conversation. And that tells me that the only thing actually stopping me is fear, not logic.
Shift #3: Action Creates Clarity (Not the Other Way Around)
We think we need to have everything figured out before we start. We think we need to know exactly what we’re doing, have the perfect plan, see the whole path laid out in front of us.
But that’s not how it works.
You don’t think your way into clarity. You act your way into clarity.
It’s like driving at night with your headlights on. You can only see maybe 200 feet in front of you, but that’s enough to get you all the way across the country. You don’t need to see the whole journey. You just need to see the next step.
Every action you take gives you information. It shows you what works and what doesn’t. It helps you course-correct. It moves you forward.
And the cool thing is that once you start moving, things start to become clearer. Doors open that you didn’t even know existed. Opportunities show up. You meet people who can help you. Ideas come to you that you never would have had if you were just sitting around thinking about it.
So if you’re waiting to feel ready, waiting to have it all figured out, you’re going to be waiting forever.
The way to get ready is to start. The way to figure it out is to do it.
Shift #4: Failure Is Feedback (Not a Reflection of Your Worth)
This one’s huge, and it’s something I’m still working on.
We treat failure like it’s this terrible, shameful thing that means something about us as people. Like if our launch flops or our product doesn’t sell or we get a negative comment, it means we’re not good enough, we’re not smart enough, we should just give up.
But that’s not what failure is.
Failure is just feedback. It’s just information.
Okay, that didn’t work. Interesting. What can I learn from that? What would I do differently next time?
The thing is, every successful entrepreneur you admire, every person who’s ever built anything amazing, they have failed way more than they’ve succeeded. They’ve launched things that flopped.
Remember Zune? New Coke? Crystal Pepsi?
Those are huge companies that had ideas that didn’t work, that made mistakes and looked stupid and had to start over. But the difference is they didn’t let those failures stop them. They didn’t make those failures mean they should quit.
There’s this idea in the startup world called “failing fast.” The idea is that you want to test things quickly, learn what doesn’t work, and then move on. Because every failure is just bringing you one step closer to what does work. It’s giving you information. It’s eliminating one path so you can find the right one.
The Hallway of 100 Doors
Another way I like to think about it is something I heard years ago (I can’t remember where, so forgive me for not giving credit):
Let’s say you’re in this huge hallway with hundreds of doors, and someone told you, “Your success, your dreams, everything you want is behind door 75.” You start at door one.
How quickly would you open doors one through 74?
You would open them super fast, as fast as possible.
You wouldn’t open door four and lament, “Nothing ever works for me. I suck.” You wouldn’t sit in front of door 30 like, “I want to open this door, but I’m afraid I’m going to fail again.”
No. You would go full Supermarket Sweep, opening every single door as quickly as possible to get to door 75—the one where you know your success is.
So the next time something doesn’t go the way you planned, try asking yourself:
What am I learning from this?
How can I use this information to get closer to my success?
What would I do differently?
And don’t make it mean anything about yourself personally.
Just by simply reframing what’s going on, you can turn something that feels devastating into something that’s actually useful and moves you forward.
Shift #5: Build Your Tolerance for Discomfort Like a Muscle
Okay, so here’s the truth: You’re not going to listen to this and suddenly be completely comfortable with discomfort. I’m not even there yet.
Just like you can’t go to the gym once and suddenly be able to bench 200 pounds, you can’t just decide one day to embrace discomfort and have it stick.
It’s something you’re going to have to practice. A muscle you have to build. And you have to get through that messy in-between.
The way you do that is by putting yourself in uncomfortable situations on purpose.
I’m sorry to say it, but that’s just how it works.
Start small. Do little things that scare you. Take little risks. And then notice that you’re surviving.
As you notice that it’s not as bad as you thought, that you’re still here and you’re still standing and you’re still building, you will feel more comfortable. You’ll build that muscle up to where you can put yourself out there more and more.
I’ve been doing this for a while now—for the last few years—where I try to do at least one little thing that makes me uncomfortable, that scares me.
And I’m shocked to see how much I’ve changed. I’m someone who totally swore off all social media years ago, and now it feels so much more comfortable. Now, I will be honest—I still have discomfort every day. But that’s the muscle we’re building, right? That ability to be in the discomfort, feel the negative feelings, but still move forward.
Because if you can do that, that’s what’s going to make you successful in business and entrepreneurship and anything you want to do.
Anyone who’s done anything worth it has had that experience. I was just hearing something about how Kesha—there was a video of her in a subway and nobody knew who she was. She was just singing and people were walking past her.
Everyone has that moment where they’re building and they still haven’t felt that arrival. But it’s about continuing to show up and doing it for yourself, to build that muscle for when the time comes, you are ready.
And every time I do this, even if it doesn’t go perfectly and it feels awkward or scary, I know that I’m building the muscle. I’m proving to myself that I can handle the discomfort.
When you can do hard things and prove that to yourself over and over, things that seemed impossible start to feel a little bit more manageable. It’s like exposure therapy.
You don’t go from zero to launching a million-dollar business tomorrow. You just have to keep taking those next uncomfortable steps. The next one and the next one.
Choose Your Discomfort
Here’s what I want you to take away from this:
Discomfort is not your enemy. It’s not a sign that you’re doing anything wrong or that you’re not cut out for this.
It’s actually a good thing. It’s a sign that you’re on the edge of something new, something bigger, something that actually matters.
Your only job as an entrepreneur is to get comfortable being uncomfortable. Learn to sit with that feeling of fear and doubt and uncertainty and keep moving forward anyway.
Manage your mind around the hard stuff. Because entrepreneurs who make it aren’t the ones who never feel afraid. They’re the ones who feel afraid and do it anyway.
And here’s the really cool thing: when you start to reframe discomfort, when you start to see it as a compass instead of a stop sign, everything changes.
Those negative emotions—the fear, the doubt—they stop controlling you because they’re just information now. They’re just little signs and proof that you’re on the right track.
Got a negative comment? Oh, level up! I got my negative comment badge in my game.
Didn’t sell that thing you wanted to sell? Oh, got the entrepreneurship badge of “didn’t sell.”
When you look at it as a game, it becomes fun. It’s information, and it’s all there to help you grow.
The Question to Ask Yourself
So the next time you feel uncomfortable, the next time you feel that resistance, that fear, and that doubt creeping in, I want you to pause, take a deep breath, and ask yourself:
“Is this discomfort telling me I’m doing something wrong? Or is it telling me I’m doing something brave?”
Nine times out of ten, it’s the second one. And that’s when you know you’re exactly where you need to be.
Remember when I was talking about my toddler learning to walk? They didn’t let falling stop them. They didn’t even make it mean anything about who they were or what they were capable of.
They just kept going. And eventually they figured it out.
Man, did they figure it out.
And you will too.
Want to make your website look amazing without the tech overwhelm? Check out my Show it and Canva templates at marymilagros.com — or grab my free Sales Page Starter Kit (with GPT for copy!) at marymilagros.com/free.
